For any non UK folk reading this, Mr Levi Roots is a man who was introduced to us by the wonders of reality business show Dragons Den. Instead of being all boring like everyone else, he pitched his Reggae Reggae sauce product with a song. Whilst sporting dreadlocks!
After spunking £50,000 worth of investment into the sauce product, rich person and rubbish TV advert star Peter Jones has taken Levi Roots everywhere. So much so that it’s starting to get a tad annoying. The bloke is only releasing an album in a couple of months. Maybe we can eat it after realising it sounds gash.
The name Levi Roots doesn’t conjure up the image of a man working in a kitchen where he bottles up sauce. Instead, it sounds like some jeans that have been genetically altered to contain octopus tentacles. One day perhaps, one day.
With Dragons Den it’s rare to see any of the products ever reach the high street. And we don’t mean the shit ones either, such as gadgets that translate what your pet barks at you. For once, Levi Roots has a product your everyday person on the dole can afford.
After getting the investment he needed to distribute his Reggae Reggae Sauce, it didn’t stop there. Oh no, 600 branches of Sainsbury’s weren’t good enough at all. Perhaps Jamie Oliver got cross that someone else was giving Sainsbury’s some press and threatened to marinate his own nuts in Reggae Reggae Sauce to tarnish the product’s image.
Logically, he then went on to cooking programmes! Amazingly, he was classed as a celebrity after appearing on screen for roughly twelve minutes and went on Ready Steady Cook. Despite being the nation’s favourite, he sadly lost to someone called Lesley Walters. Wikipedia tells us she was one of the first cooks on This Morning. Get her.
With the original product, you could dollop Reggae Reggae Sauce on to anything you wanted. Chicken, ice-cream or even soup. Whatever you bloody felt like. And now, all of a sudden, you can get even more ripped off at Subway sandwich shops! For a couple of extra quid, you can now have a spicy yummy snack that comes dripping in sauce.
Being crap on Ready Steady Cook didn’t stop Levi from annoying us on the TV. Very recently, he has been given his own show. Here you can see how he whips up authentic sunshine food. If you can’t be arsed to do it in real time with him on the TV, you can catch up with the book! Part recipe and part crap biography, it literally has everything you’d want to know about cooking. To an extent, we can appreciate why he is doing this.
However, he is releasing a single and an album. Jesus, why do we need this in our lives? Hooray for you Levi Roots, you made a sauce that tastes quite nice and is better then the majority of store brand stuff. But does Mr Heinz perform an arousing dance? Ever seen the various members of parliament break into song to celebrate H.P sauce? No you haven’t.
Anyway, he is releasing more unrelated cooking sauce crap. If you really need to know, the single – So Out of My Mind – is released on October 5 and the inevitable crap album Red Hot follows on October 19.
When they come to pulp the unsold 10,000 units, maybe we can use them as Reggae Reggae coasters for our Reggae Reggae lager drink that is a peachy 5% with an added spice kick.
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