In the honourable way of blogging i have stolen this from a blog!

If you don’t know Chuck Norris, you can replace Chuck Norris with Rajnikanth...and to an extent mithun (sorry non asian people, you probably dont know who i mean. Check out Rajnikanth on youtube) It makes equal sense

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a gun because he can reach the enemy faster
Chuck Norris won the San Francisco marathon. He started in New York.
Chuck Norris was delivered via C-Section. He performed it himself
Chuck Norris pops bubble wrap with his gun

Chuck Norris is not above the Law. He is the Law
When Chuck Norris wants ice, he makes it hail
Baby Chuck Norris didn’t eat Gerber mashed foods. He crushed his own apples
Chuck Norris never used braces. He straightened his teeth with his tongue
Chuck Norris uses a lawn mower to shave
Chuck Norris will tell you if the oven is hot enough by touching it
When ToysRUs advertises a walker for toddlers, they specify they mean no disrespect the Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris
If nothing can move faster than light how do you explain Chuck Norris’ guns coming out of holster
Chuck Norris doesn’t like to handle diamonds because he keeps accidentally crushing them

Chuck Norris can impregnate a woman on a long distance phone call
To calm down Chuck Norris when he was a toddler, his mom used to play The Sopranos
When Chuck Norris wants a mobile phone, he carries around a cell tower
Chuck Norris doens’t need a gun because he can throw the bullets faster

Snake bite is a common cause of death near Chuck Norris’ house. He bites a lot of snakes
In their wilderness survival classes, Mountain lions learn how to identify Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris walks into a bar and says “The usual”, bartender shoots a bunch of people.