Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Snitches Get Stitches

Snitches Get Stitches: "

One thing that I learned while growing up is that you never snitch on people. One of my “friends” in high school ratted out a few of my friends and I when we were pulling a practical joke (or causing massive damage depending on your point of view) and I haven’t talked to them in 14 years.

The philosophy of “snitches get stitches” has been hard wired into urban society for years. Music, movies, and television (check out “the Wire”) all have basically enforced the “snitches get stitches” logic. Instead of don’t rat people out it has turned into there will be repercussions if you rat someone out. Or as someone on Springer would say, “cut a bitch”.


Now normally I can go along with this idea. Sometimes problems are best handled within a group of people, two events over the last month kind of shattered that but I wouldn’t blame the “snitches get stitches” logic.

Event 1: In Florida a group of teens doused a kid with rubbing alcohol and lit him on fire after he told the police one of the kids stole his father’s bike. Apparently they stole the bike after the kid did not pay them $40 for a video game. I guess they never watched “A Bronx Tale” :

Colagero: This guy Louie Dumps over here, you know, he owes me twenty dollars. It’s been two weeks now, and every time he sees me, he keeps dodging me. He’s becoming a real pain in the ass, should I crack him one or what?

Sonny: What have I been telling you, sometimes hurting someone ain’t the answer. First of all, is he a friend of yours?

Colagero: No, I don’t even like him.

Sonny: You don’t even like him. There’s your answer right there. Look at it this way, it cost you twenty dollars to get rid of him. Right? He’s never gonna bother you again. He’s never gonna ask you for money again. He’s out of your life for 20 dollars. You got off cheap. Forget about it.

(The new going rate for owing someone twenty dollars is no longer a beating. It is burns on thirty percent of your body. So if you owe forty that is sixty percent, plus another five for good measure. So I guess for Madoff they are going to shove a flamethrower up his ass about 1,000 times in a row.)

Event 2: A girl in California was raped by 16 fellow students outside of a school dance all while other students watched, nobody attempted to stop what was happening or call the police. The police were notified after the news and pictures were circulated through the area via text message. The girl that finally called police was interviewed by CNN and said that snitching was looked down upon where she lived but she felt like it was the right thing to do. You should have seen what she was wearing. (I hate rape logic.)


People were quick to blame the whole “anti-snitching” movement on this but I disagree. I think it has to do more with teenagers getting everything they want, when they want it, and not understanding moderation.

When I was growing up we didn’t douse kids with rubbing alcohol or attempt to recreate the ear-cutting scene in “Reservoir Dogs”. No we walked to school through two miles of snow after watching one of the four TV channels we had, waited until gym class where we would give a kid a few wedgies mixed with a couple of kidney punches then call it a day. The punishment fit the crime.

And as far as gang rape went… Uh… I think that was really saved for the football team in the shower doing something nasty to a freshmen or the semi retarded team manager like in the movie “Radio”. (That was the plot of the movie wasn’t it? Never saw it.) I don’t think I can say the punishment fit the crime… uh… maybe I should move on.

The point I am trying to make is that we don’t need kids to tell on everyone or that they shouldn’t learn that keeping their mouth shut is sometimes the best for them and society. Instead they need to learn moderation and the only one that can do that is parents. So the next time you catch a kid smoking make sure you make them attempt to smoke and entire box of cigars. If they get in trouble lock them in a closet for a weekend or beat them with wire hangers.

Wait a second…

No comments: